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  • A to Z of classical music

    Hey all,

    Found this entertaining...,,1943294,00.html">,,1943294,00.html


  • Martin--

    That is a bona fide instant classic!! It's so wonderfully politically incorrect and naively sarcastic with a measure of truth to boot. Brilliant.

  • Thought the same as JWL after I was thru Joe Queenan's A to Z of classical music. Had to laugh at least three times.

    But I'm afraid only composers and folks who know what was going on in the scene over the past 600 years get the jokes. And good that not a german wrote that essai, that would possibly twist the joke completly reverse to Otto.

    One of the two most appealing English composer, Frederick Delius, his real name is Fritz Theodor Albert Delius, I guess his parents left Germany because their son was a bit short of being authentic. Jjust kidding. I love Delius, possibly the most copied serious composer in film soundtrack history in the golden age of Hollywood, but nobody knew that except Max Steiner, but he never told anybody, well maybee he told Korngold, or vice versa.


  • thanks for the link martin.

    funny stuff!

  • The series is now complete...,,2004638,00.html">,,2004638,00.html

    ..and it ends (almost) on a note close to my heart.

    "...what classical music really needs is not any more young performers - it already has enough - but a few more exciting young composers. Actually, one exciting young composer would be a good start."


  • This is pretty good, and funny, and in general the writer knows what he is talking about, EXCEPT - on Bruckner (clunky? F. OFF - I'd love to be that clunky, sucker! Bruckner is BETTER THAN WAGNER - and if you don't understand that you are a moron) and English composers, who more than made up for their previous relative quiet in the 20th century. Vaughn Williams is not great? Then nobody is, bud. And no mention of my main man, Holst? Shit! As in... he is full of.

    However he is right about Tchaikovsky and Mahler - they OWN being miserable. And Debussy was a real jerk who wrote great music. Though he underrates Ravel severely - he is obviously one of the "Debussy is far better than Ravel" snobs.

    He overrates Mozart. He is not the greatest composer who ever lived by a long shot. Bach is the greatest, obviously, Beethoven obliterates everyone else, and next best are Mahler and then probably Schubert who was less consistent than Mozart but a thousand times more inspired. Also, Da Vinci blew Mozart's ass off the map as a universal genius, though not as a composer obviously. Just take a look at what da Vinci did, in detail, and you will realize there are few humans who ever approached him in range of interest combined with accomplishment.

    What else? I forgot but could go on, if I had this guy in front of me. Though it might end up in injuries or worse.

  • Well, the text may be sufficient for a hip hoper to print on the shopping sticker for finding the CD's at the HMV shop at Oxford Street.

    I'm doing fine without listening to any composer he mention, and this ever since I finished the conservatory.

    My current composer hit list is:

    de Severac, Marie Joseph Alexandre Deodat (1873-1921)
    Mompou, Federico (1893-1987)
    Koechlin, Charles (1867-1950)
    Robert Blum (1900-1994)
    Nielsen, Carl (1863-1931)
    Nin-Culmell, Joaquõn Marõa (190[H]
    Montsalvatge, Xavier (1912-)
    Croft, William (1678-1727)
    Surinach, Carlos (1915-)
    Alfred Schnittke (1934-199[H]
    Bruch, Max (1838-1920)
    Barber, Samuel (1910-1981)


  • Yes, Hip Hopers have no hope.

    Also he neglected to mention the greatest composer of the 20th century... Herrmann

  • [:)]

    According to popular believe, Liberace was the greatest classical pianist, and Baron Andrew Lloyd Webber of Sydmonton the greatest composer alive, where his "The Phantom of the Opera" is the alltime best Singspiel


  • Yes, but Angelo, in reference to Andrew Lloyd Webber being admired, you are talking about delusion by psychotic idiots who should be committed to institutes for the criminally insane.

    As everyone here knows, when we speak of Herrmann we are talking, in low respectful voices like all the Munchkins in Emerald City when the Wizard is mentioned, about the only reality worth knowing.

  • A fun interview with Bernard's wife !!!

    Bernard's Bentley:


  • Gentlemen, please don't bring up the name Andrew LLoyd Wobbly again, as it hurts even to read. Now I'm off to be sick.

    p.s. The list is amusing, but i think it's the sycophantic ravings of an obviously mediocre musicologist that give it some degree of levity. And many of the assertions he makes are so implausible as to be funny in their own right!

    Bah Humbug!


  • the Slavic Limey, from the cultural motherland, has again hit the nail on the head.

    I must add to my somewhat positive posts on this "funny" guy, that I am quite uninterested in general about "rankings" of composers, which this "funny" guy does in extreme.

    Each composer, including each one right here on this forum, creates his own universe. And it is valid if he is honest to himself as an artist.

    for example, Borodin, one of my all-time favorite composers, never mentioned by this bloke, is absolutely PERFECT at being Borodin, which is something no one else can do, ever.

    So to hell with all the rankings (Mozart is a 9.9, Schubert an 8.7, Delius a 6.8, etc. etc.) of what is supposed to be "greatness."

    Angelo -

    WOW! Was that Benny cool or what? Look at that son of a bitch getting into that car! Shit! He ruled.

  • last edited
    last edited

    @hermitage59 said:

    Gentlemen, please don't bring up the name Andrew LLoyd Wobbly again, as it hurts even to read. Now I'm off to be sick.

    Feeling a little queasy here too.

    Mozart not the greatest? I can understand that view but I defy you to name a worse composer than the fellow mentioned above. Okay now I'm going to be sick.

  • One thing should be clear, a columnist, recipient or any other folks who not compose, can write and believe anything they want.

    At a rehearsal with the Philadelphia Orchestra a trumpetist approached me and said without introducing himself "Bach is the greatest, then comes long nothing, then Bach again and then Mozart" where I replied "Ohh I know, and I knew a bloke who was capable playing the trumpet, but he died 200 years ago"


  • PaulP Paul moved this topic from Orchestration & Composition on