Paolo, that is so good!
William, thank you very much for you analytical listening, and for the nice words! I loved your Mars and Neptune (this latter literally dripping water!), and I'm flattened to see my little Mercury compared to them!
This score is so colorful, that all the hard work needed to make it sound credible in a virtual space is well repaid by how much one can learn by going deep into its finer details. It's a precious score, up to the way accidentals and dynamic marks are placed. Say Arts & Crafts!
I've done the changes you suggested. First, a bit less reverb (+15% of the perfect balance, instead of 20%; not much, but with the current trend toward more reverb, I admit I'm starting to like more reverb!).
Then, I increased the dynamic level of the woodwinds in the loudest passage around 1:50 (both going from ff to fff, and pushing up CC11 a bit). I'm not totally sure this really works, or if I would be better lower the background chord notes a bit instead. Maybe with everything so loud, they are just struggling to find space.
I increased the fading-out of the flutes before the reprise at about 2:05. I've also increased the volume of the harps in the last chord, since I wanted it to sound more metallic. In other words: more sci-fi!
I couldn't however find the wrong note at 0:53. I suspect there is something odd in the way the marked articulation sounds more or less at that point. It's not the perfect choice, but at the moment I don't have a better solution.
Maybe you want to give it another listen, if you have some time?
Incidentally, I was thinking to make Saturn, since I want to explore its somber and transparent colors. It nobody else wants to do it, I'll do. (Oh, well, I'll do it in any case!).
Paolo
(Here is the older version, for comparison purposes: Holst - Mercury (old) ๐