Dave,
I have few more.
1. When you get asked at the last minute to fill in, and you turn up to find the drummer has the world's biggest drum kit, and a 'Dante' gleam in his eye.
2. When you look closer, and see the Bass player has pencilled in 11 and 12 on his amplifier.
3. The singer wears more makeup than Barbara Cartland, and smells stongly of Lavender.
4. The drummer is skillful enough to play three rhythms at once, none of which have any relation to the tune you're currently playing.
5. You're told at the end of the gig, that the money will be less, because the publican wasn't totally satisfied.
6. You turn up to an orchestral rehearsal to play new music, only to find you have three notes in the first bar and tacet for the remaining 4 movements.
7. The part you're playing consists of ten minutes of noodling, and no rests.
8. That nice rastifarian Bob Marley fan next door buys a new stereo, and gets a new job which means he'll be at home at the same time you're writing that sweet tender 2nd movement.
9. The new conductor turns up with Serge, his partner, and you discover the season's programme has been changed to one long tribute to Fay Wray, and Marlene Detirich. (Serge is wearing a pink t shirt inscribed with the logo, 'Village People for President')
10. The chamber orchestra is 'in the way' so you get moved to the car park, out of sight of the guests.
11. The wedding couple, in a last minute change, want to perform their waltz to the elegant melody of 'Slam that muvver down', and you have no idea how it goes.
Regards,
Alex!
[H]