I'm actually curious about this too... I've been using VEP for years (started on 5, now on 7) and have never been able to get it to fully recall unless I use it decoupled and unpreserved. From what I remember, the load times are not ideal with this setup. Im almost certain I'm doing it wrong, but as I look through the forums, I can't see proof of that that I am in fact doing it wrong...
So I make my template in VEP with all my instruments, as many people have suggested. That loads upon system startup. I have a logic template that connects to those instances on two computers. Whether I choose to couple or decouple the instances, loading the next session or template does not recall the settings. Instead they stay the same as they were in the session before. Obviously if I unpreserve the instance, then that instance no longer shows up on the next session I load and I'm foreced to close logic, restart VEP, and then I seem to have better results...
Does that make sense? If so, then what is the definitive workflow so that I can make sure I can cool the anxiety?