I mean seriously......where am I wrong? I thought VEPro on a slave was supposed to do the work. If it behaves like this, the slave concept is pointless. That's not any different than trying to use it in the main computer. Kontakts memory server does as well. I just trade the clicks and pops of VEPro for Kontakts' CPU spikesThe slave should be doing the work of handling the instruments and fx plugs, yes; and you should really use the more robust computer accordingly.
I use dozens of times more instruments than you describe and typically in 4 instances (x4 'threads per instance') on my MacPro octocore with Cubase on the master, a MacPro quad - and Cubase is ~4 times slower than Logic on a Mac - with samples/buffer at 128, or in a really loaded project 192, with no audio breakage. Sometimes a huge project (by my standards, not a symphonic scale kit) in a full mix scenario forces me to 256 but, with the current build of VE Pro I haven't had to exceed that to my recollection. This is using the x2 buffers in VE Pro, which, if it adds any latency it's negligible here, owing to the latency compensation of VE Pro.
If you are using KMS in x64 kernel, DON'T, there is no call for it. I can't say it's the source of your trouble by any means, but that exists to expand 32-bit operation. If you're getting this poor of performance and Activity Monitor is looking less than stressed, it looks like a network problem to me.
Is your IP fixed or dynamic? I had a lot of trouble until someone hipped me to this, do not use a dynamic IP for this purpose. When that was put to me, I had no idea what it meant... but my performance troubles began to vanish once I'd fixed an IP address for the master and for the slave.