Great Actors/Actresses In Terrible Films

[nicks]

Inspired by a thread just below:

Great Actors/Actresses in true stinkers. Appalling films that should never have seen the light, but with actors who brought gravity to at least their own parts.

Just for fun - I'll start.

Robert Duvall - Deep Impact
Sean Connery - Robin Hood, Prince Of Thieves (Richard the Lionheart with a Scottish accent - interesting anomoly)
Michael Caine - Jaws: The Revenge
Gene Hackman - Superman II (in fact you could consider Superman a double-header with Brando in it, except that he's so terrible himself).

Let's have some more...

[PaulR]

The Swarm - Michael Caine

Deep Impact terrible? I don't think it was great, but not terrible. Sickly and stultifyingly self-indulgent - yes. But not overly horrendous.

How about Braveheart? But then to qualify you would also have to assume Mel is a great actor right? Because Br******heart is singularly one of the worst over hyped peices of crap I ever had the misfortune to watch - and an old mate of mine was in it.

Bruce Willis - Last Man Standing

Anyone - Gangs of New York

[nicks]

Deep Impact not terrible? I beg to differ. The case for the prosecution:

[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] 120 minutes for one CGI effect.
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Frodo from LOTR doing his "vaguely constipated" face for an hour of that.
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] James Horner doing his piano "Tonic-Dominant-Subdominant-Dominant all over a Tonic pedal" thing yet again.
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Only one person thinking that the highways might be blocked and taking a motorbike rather than a saloon or 4-wheel drive
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] The Capitol being the first building rebuilt after the impact (actually, this was quite believable)
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Too many lead roles, most of which (with the exception of the venerable Mr. Duvall) are so blah that they cause you to let out a little whoop of pure joy when the comet strikes
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Maximillian Schell, Vanessa Redgrave and Morgan Freeman frankly looking embarrassed most of the time
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] The very title - sounds like the sort of film sent under a plain wrapper from Amsterdam.

And of course my pet hate and cheap shot - pictures of the Statue of Liberty having been knocked off its pedestal yet again. Actually - maybe we should have a competition for the number of films that use the Statue of Liberty to illustrate a disaster - Planet of the Apes (at which time it was original), A.I., The Day After Tomorrow, Deep Impact - there must be a dozen others...

I agree with you about Braveheart but, as you say, Mel counts himself out of consideration here.

[fcw]

@Another User said:

And of course my pet hate and cheap shot - pictures of the Statue of Liberty having been knocked off its pedestal yet again.

Maybe, just for a change, they should knock over the other Statue of Liberty. You know, the one in Paris, where the Eiffel Tower is visible out the window of every flat, no matter which way it faces.

Or perhaps they could hit the only vulnerable structure in Britain, the clock tower at Westminster that has Big Ben inside. We Brits keep it ready to explode at the first sign of trouble crossing Tower Bridge, which is clearly visible from Big Ben along the Thames, according to 'The Mummy Returns'. Of course, Tower Bridge is that fancy, empty road on the way from Heathrow airport to Buckingham Palace, according to 'King Ralph'.

Still, perhaps the Bad Guys will flee jolly old England in search of adequate dental treatment by flying a helicopter down the two-way channel tunnel in the wake of one of those high-speed trains we have here, according to 'Mission Impossible'.

That's certainly more plausible than Robin Hood walking from Dover to Sherwood Forest in an afternoon to meet Ninja Maid Marian, as in 'Prince of Thieves'.

Which brings us back to Morgan Freeman.

What was the question again?

[PaulR]

@nicks@aubergine.co.uk said:

Deep Impact not terrible? I beg to differ. The case for the prosecution:

[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] 120 minutes for one CGI effect.
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Frodo from LOTR doing his "vaguely constipated" face for an hour of that.
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] James Horner doing his piano "Tonic-Dominant-Subdominant-Dominant all over a Tonic pedal" thing yet again.
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Only one person thinking that the highways might be blocked and taking a motorbike rather than a saloon or 4-wheel drive
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] The Capitol being the first building rebuilt after the impact (actually, this was quite believable)
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Too many lead roles, most of which (with the exception of the venerable Mr. Duvall) are so blah that they cause you to let out a little whoop of pure joy when the comet strikes
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] Maximillian Schell, Vanessa Redgrave and Morgan Freeman frankly looking embarrassed most of the time
[[[[[[[[[:|]]]]]]]]] The very title - sounds like the sort of film sent under a plain wrapper from Amsterdam.

And of course my pet hate and cheap shot - pictures of the Statue of Liberty having been knocked off its pedestal yet again. Actually - maybe we should have a competition for the number of films that use the Statue of Liberty to illustrate a disaster - Planet of the Apes (at which time it was original), A.I., The Day After Tomorrow, Deep Impact - there must be a dozen others...

So you weren't happy with it then?

I think Star Wars needs remaking personally - providing all the actors speak in a broad Devonshire accent. Paul Merton gave me the idea last night on the TV show - forget the name.

"Allo Princess my luvver, what lovely buns you 'av - nice 'air too - Darf Vayyderrrr off the starboard bow maid -What''ll us do next?"

[JWL]

Wow. If there were ever a topic with no end, this has to be the king of them all!

The secret to any actor's greatness, should they indeed be a great actor, is to keep working-- keep paying the bills, and to keep honing their skills while staying visible. The law of averages dictates that there are many more "bad" films out there than there are good ones, so it's not too difficult to keep the list going.

This is very interesing!!

[PaulR]

@JWL said:

The law of averages dictates that there are many more "bad" films out there than there are good ones, so it's not too difficult to keep the list going.

When you consider that Los Angeles alone at one point was turning out 250 plus films a month........

[hermitage59]

@PaulR said:

I think Star Wars needs remaking personally - providing all the actors speak in a broad Devonshire accent. Paul Merton gave me the idea last night on the TV show - forget the name.

"Allo Princess my luvver, what lovely buns you 'av - nice 'air too - Darf Vayyderrrr off the starboard bow maid -What''ll us do next?"

Paul, dear fellow, finally got up then.

If the chief characters in Star Wars are to be recast in a Devon dialect, then, to provide some contrast, there can only be one dialect for Darth Vader.


Welsh.


[H]


Regards,

The Slavic Limey.

[hbuus]

- Everyone in Air Force One

I was unfortunate enough to see it in the movies.
I especially remember the great line "Get - off - my - plane!" which Harrison Ford spits out just before kicking Gary Oldman off....

Oh and people sitting close to me in the theatre couldn't help laughing when - at a point in the movie where Harrison Ford as American President REALLY starts handling everyone and everything all by himself - I started humming the theme from Indiana Jones [:D]

[PaulR]

@hermitage59 said:

Paul, dear fellow, finally got up then.

If the chief characters in Star Wars are to be recast in a Devon dialect, then, to provide some contrast, there can only be one dialect for Darth Vader.

I'm always up Alex. I never sleep - and when I do sleep - I sleep in a chair.

When you've been to - many, many years ago as I did - a miniature version of Star Wars as performed in a school play by all the kids, including my daughter - and sat there and watched that - including the light sabres - THEN you can say..

My God! What was that!!!!

[[:|]] [8-)]

[nicks]

@hermitage59 said:

If the chief characters in Star Wars are to be recast in a Devon dialect, then, to provide some contrast, there can only be one dialect for Darth Vader.


Welsh.

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force - isn't it..."

"I sense something. A presence I've not felt since... the 1985 Llanelli Eisteddfod"

I prefer to think of him with a Greek/North London Kebab shop owner accent, a la Stavros:

"I is find your lacka a faith disturvin', innit".

I missed the TV program you mentioned Paul, but did they mention that David Prowse, who played Darth Vader, is in fact West Country himself, with a pretty broad accent, and that he did not know he was going to be dubbed with the (let's face it, much more appropriate) deep, tones of James Earl Jones, who is about as far away from cider and clotted cream as you can imagine?

[hermitage59]

@hermitage59 said:

If the chief characters in Star Wars are to be recast in a Devon dialect, then, to provide some contrast, there can only be one dialect for Darth Vader.


Welsh.

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force - isn't it..."

"I sense something. A presence I've not felt since... the 1985 Llanelli Eisteddfod"

I prefer to think of him with a Greek/North London Kebab shop owner accent, a la Stavros:

"I is find your lacka a faith disturvin', innit".

I missed the TV program you mentioned Paul, but did they mention that David Prowse, who played Darth Vader, is in fact West Country himself, with a pretty broad accent, and that he did not know he was going to be dubbed with the (let's face it, much more appropriate) deep, tones of James Earl Jones, who is about as far away from cider and clotted cream as you can imagine?

Nick, the Greek shop owner idea is priceless.




[:)]

[hermitage59]

@hermitage59 said:

Paul, dear fellow, finally got up then.

If the chief characters in Star Wars are to be recast in a Devon dialect, then, to provide some contrast, there can only be one dialect for Darth Vader.

I'm always up Alex. I never sleep - and when I do sleep - I sleep in a chair.

When you've been to - many, many years ago as I did - a miniature version of Star Wars as performed in a school play by all the kids, including my daughter - and sat there and watched that - including the light sabres - THEN you can say..


My God! What was that!!!!
[[:|]] [8-)]

Entertaining was it?

lol.

I can just imagine, before the big night................

'Daaaaad.'

'What?'

It's time for me to go to rehearsal.'

'Oh, right. So?'

'Gimme my light saber back. And the the imitation of Darth Vader breathing is getting borrriiing......

'I thought it was pretty good.'


'And one more thing.'


'What?'


The Princess Leia outfit?


'What about it?'


'It doesn't suit you........'










[:P]

[PaulR]

@nicks@aubergine.co.uk said:

I missed the TV program you mentioned Paul, but did they mention that David Prowse, who played Darth Vader, is in fact West Country himself, with a pretty broad accent,

He's from Bristol - which is sort of West Country Nick. Green Cross Code man.

Unfortunately, not wanting to disappoint you and Alex - my accent is actually public school - or so I'm told. Although I can twang when I want to. Sorry about that.

[:P]

The school play. It was one of those times that was so utterly embarrassing - you actually felt your whole physique metamorphosing.
The music teacher at the time went overboard with it totally and ACTUALLY had John Williams soundtrack interspersed throughout - over the school' speaker system and general proceedings. So you had deafening The Imperial March, suddenly morphing into all these minute kids running around the stage carrying bits of plastic. Oh my God. I don't want to talk about it.
After the 'play' - he asked me what I thought. This is some time ago. I had this sickly smile stuck to to my face at the time, I'm sure of it. Didn't want to upset him (because my wife was giving me 'that look' - and just said - it was wonderful, when's the next.

Like you do.

Edit: HA! She was a stormtrooper with one of those white plastic masks.

[William]

That kiddie play really should have been filmed, and released as an avant garde experiment. Though Lucas would have sued.

My vote on this would be Bela Lugosi, who in the atrocious later films he was forced to take gave just as much of a performance as in Dracula or White Zombie. He never phoned in a performance, unlike nearly every actor currently working in Hollywood.

[PaulR]

@William said:

TMy vote on this would be Bela Lugosi, who in the atrocious later films he was forced to take gave just as much of a performance as in Dracula or White Zombie. He never phoned in a performance, unlike nearly every actor currently working in Hollywood.

You'll be pleased to hear that Dracula, Prince of Darkness is on the tv tonight. Haven't seen it in years. Hammer were the most financially sucessful British film company - that tells you a lot right there!

[synthetic]

Harvey Keitel loves to help new directors, but unfortunately this lands him in a lot of bad flicks.

What about great composers in bad movies? John Williams' score for 1941 and Jerry Goldsmith's score for Omen III come to mind.

[jamriding]

@William said:

TMy vote on this would be Bela Lugosi, who in the atrocious later films he was forced to take gave just as much of a performance as in Dracula or White Zombie. He never phoned in a performance, unlike nearly every actor currently working in Hollywood.

You'll be pleased to hear that Dracula, Prince of Darkness is on the tv tonight. Haven't seen it in years. Hammer were the most financially sucessful British film company - that tells you a lot right there!

Now that is one of my most favourite movies [[:|]]

I suppose that says something about me...

[PaulR]

@jamriding said:

Now that is one of my most favourite movies [[:|]]

I suppose that says something about me...

It is good. Notice how the score just keeps going up in semi tones. Just when you think it can't go up anymore - whooof! Even more semi tones. This guy invented the semi tone - I'm convinced of it.

[herb]

More stuff, and some of these incredible movies were done by really famous movie directors!

Albert Finney in John Hustons "Annie"
Robin Williams in Robert Altmanns "Popey"
Richard Burton in Joseph L. Mankiewicz "Cleopatra"
Sean Connery in Russel Mulcahys "Highlander II: The Quickening"
Tim Robbins in Willard Huycks "Howard the Duck"
Sean Penn in Jim Goddards "Shanghai Surprise"
Jack Palance in Andrei Konchalovskys "Tango and Cash"