maybe it's a problem with people don't understand words like 'telecharger' ? :)
Anyway, I've listened to the piece and in my humble opinion it suffers from strange disconnection of very abrupt transition from introduction into the rhytmical structures you have later on. Such transition would certainly take me more time (musical timewise). Also watch out for rough edges like in 0:48, 0:59 and so on. Sounds too unnatural to be a fluent transition. I'd probably try to focus on unification of the style (it's a bit mixed grill of styles). I can hear quite nice ideas inside but they need to be more polished to work. Maybe trying to make the piece sound more fluent would help you as well.
I am in general usually suggesting to start with bringing into your piece less ammount of ideas and work with them thoroughly to learn how they work and how much they need to be properly developed. If you throw into the 'kettle' too much, you can certainly end up with less impact than desired.
Just my insignificant 2 cents so feel free to ignore me. ;)